Shiftry Is Over A Thousand Years Old And Can Read Your Mind

By Zack Zwiezen on at

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a tonne of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Shiftry!

Shiftry Details
Type: Grass/Dark
Average Height: 4' 03"
Average Weight: 131.4 lbs
First Added In Generation III

Shiftry is described on Bulbapedia as “wicked” and according to multiple Pokedex entries it can not only live for over a thousand years, and read your mind, but it can also create powerful wind storms with its arms. At some point, when a Pokemon becomes this dangerous and powerful, is it just a monster or is it like a demigod?

Of course, knowing this franchise, someone is going to comment that actually Shiftry is really cute in this one episode where it helped Ash and his friends at a bake sale or something. But on the off chance that isn’t the case: Why are people fucking with this thing? I don’t think it’s safe or smart to try and catch, let alone train, a creature that can read your mind.

Screenshot: The Pokemon Company

Considering how old this Pokemon is, and assuming it can live for longer, I do wonder what happens in the Pokemon universe when a trainer dies. They will most likely have Pokemon that have outlived them. What happens to them? Who’s excited to take grandpa’s evil, wicked, and mind-reading demi-god? Can you leave Pokemon in a will?

Also, listen up you bastards: I know this creature’s name is very similar to a certain phrase said in a certain animated TV show. I know. I work and live on the internet. I know, okay. Let’s not make any references or jokes about this animated show in the comments below. The last time I poked that hornet’s nest, people got mad. I don’t feel like debating anyone today.

Favourite Fan Art

Illustration: Fer-gon (DeviantArt)

Oh no! It looks like Shiftry got a Crunchyroll account and start binging some anime.

Random Facts

  • I touched on this briefly, but yeah, this creature can create powerful and cold wind storms with its arms. Oddly, not an ice-type Pokemon.
  • According to some Pokedex entries, humans fear this thing. Which seems totally fair. I’m living in Kansas and not in the Pokemon universe and this thing seems dangerous and not something I want to be near.
  • It has been seen leading groups of Seedots and Nuzleafs. I hope it’s a better boss than last week’s Pokemon.
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