Every Pokémon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a lot of Pokémon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokémon! It’s Whismur!
Average Height: 129.5 centimetres
Average Weight: 26.6 kilograms
First Added In Generation III
One time when I was much younger I held my nose and closed my mouth. I then tried to blow through my nose. I did this because of a trailer for a film which, after searching for I can’t find, in which a dad makes a noise by closing his nose and mouth and blowing air between his lips. The kids laugh. I thought I’d try that too and almost blew out my eardrums. DON’T do that. Unless your Whismur, who can breathe through their ears. Also Whismur can cry a lot. We’ll get to that.
Whismur is one of those Pokémon who just looks like a blob made out of two colours with a face. I’m not trying to be too mean to whoever created it but look at that thing. What kid wants to catch a Whismur? Also, even if you think it looks okay, once it starts to scream and cry you’ll probably kick off a bridge or run away. According to Pokédex entries found on Bulbapedia, Whismur can cry very loud. Their screams get as loud as a jet’s engines. In fact, they get so loud they scare Whismur themselves, which makes them cry even more until they pass out from exhaustion.
Screenshot: The Pokémon Company
When I babysit kids in my late teens, that was a strat I learned very quickly. You let them cry when you put them to bed and soon they cry so much they just go to sleep. Of course none of those kids got as loud as a jet engine. Close, but not that loud. And none of them, as far I know, breathed through their ears. What I find odd about this is that Whismur has a mouth and screams using it. So it must be hooked up to its lungs? And so must its ears too. That seems like some complicated biology. Lot of valves involved in that.
Whismur cries whenever it is scared or threatened. And considering this thing looks like a purple marshmallow, I assume most things scare it. So this thing is probably just in a constant state of crying and sleeping. So it should fit right in with how most of us are dealing with 2020.
Favourite Fan Art
Illustration: okiedokieart (DeviantArt)
According to Bulbapedia, Whismur has the “Soundproof” ability which lets it listen to Jigglypuff without falling asleep. That’s nice. Anything to keep it from crying for hours.
- Whismur evolves into Exploud, a Pokémon who I’ve covered before on this very website. Exploud is even louder than Whismur, which is scary to think about.
- I guess, according to Bulbapedia, Whismur lives in caves. I said these were random facts, not INTERESTING facts.
- If you cover Whismur’s ears it stops crying. Probably because you are suffocating it. This isn’t a fun fact, but instead a crime.
Best Comment From Last Week
“Surprised you didn’t mention that Froslass’ arms are drooping out of its head, rather than attached to its body like other Pokémon.”
Look, I’m not paid enough to highlight every disgusting and terrible thing on these Pokémon. At some point I need to sleep again.