Smoochum Kisses Everything Before Touching It

By Zack Zwiezen on at

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a tonne of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Smoochum!

Smoochum Details

Type: Ice/Psychic

Average Height: 1' 04"

Average Weight: 13.2 lbs.

First Added In Generation II

Kissing. It’s like sex, but for your lips. Wait. Let’s start this again. I don’t like how this is going and I’m only two sentences in. Okay. Here we go...Kissing is like mouth fucking. Shit. Whatever. Smoochum is a Pokemon that loves to kiss, as the name implies. It really loves to kiss. In fact, it kisses basically everything and anything it encounters, which is probably as gross as you think.

According to Pokedex entries on Bulbapedia, Smoochum has very sensitive lips. And it uses these lips to investigate the world around it. There isn’t a lot of extra detail or information about this process in the Pokedex, but I think I can figure this out. I assume that this small Pokemon sees a new object, like a bicycle or a new menu item at Arby’s and uses its lips to kiss this new thing.

I don’t know how much you can learn from kissing something. Even with sensitive lips, what can you actually learn from kissing things? Temperature? Smoothness? Relative size? I guess you could also lick your lips and taste it? Okay, maybe licking stuff isn’t the worst way to learn more about an object. Still gross. I have to assume Smoochum has a strong immune system at this point.

Smoochum is, according to some Pokedex entries, a bit clumsy. It often runs around and falls over. This might be due to the fact that this tiny Pokemon likes to rock its head back and forth as it walks as if it is leaning in to kiss someone or something. Look, Smoochum, I get it. I do. Kissing is your thing. But maybe don’t ALWAYS be kissing. It seems tiring and dangerous.

Favourite Fan Art

Illustration: Frostie (DeviantArt)

Smoochum wants to catch that damn butterfly so she can kiss it. And then the net.

Random Facts

  • Smoochum loves to look at itself in mirrors or any reflective surface.
  • Apparently, before touching something dirty, Smoochum will lick all the dirt away with its tongue. Which seems terrible. I hate that.
  • It is believed that all Smoochums are female. They also evolve into Jinx.