Hey, it’s Toad, loyal pal of Princess Peach and Mario. Who doesn’t love Toad? What are you up to, mate? How’s it hangin– Oh. Oh no.
This clip of someone seemingly stomping on Toad’s whole dick – which, as long as we’re opening this Pandora’s Box, probably has its own little face – comes to us courtesy of Nintendo’s official Line account. Line is a messaging service that’s popular in Japan but also available in North America. Nintendo’s advertising on Line often includes a green Toad who’s appeared alongside characters in games like Undertale and Final Fantasy X in those games’ art styles. It’s charming! Kinda. Never once, however, have I thought, “Wow, I sure do want to learn more about Green Toad". Never once have I said, “I wonder if Green Toad enjoys dick torture”.
Today, Nintendo answered the question no one asked. As part of a Green Toad-themed promo for the new Nintendo Labo VR kit, which came out today, Nintendo showed off a cardboard Toad getting stomped on and making a series of deeply uncomfortable noises. Supposedly, he was doing sit ups, as evidenced by the image of a super buff Green Toad that appeared immediately afterward. The Internet, however, had other ideas.
Featured image: Nintendo
— Nintendo Life (@nintendolife) April 12, 2019
Did I just watch Toad getting jacked off https://t.co/F0JSbwKFhw
— Ted (@ExandShadow) April 12, 2019
Me: Toad had some weird fetishes....
— Mr.C-NES (@Mr_C_NES) April 12, 2019
Ballstepping videos got even kinkier, huh. https://t.co/eIcWpDJR3T
— Jim Sterling (@JimSterling) April 12, 2019
After that comparison Stormy Daniels made, Toad has had a pretty bad reputation. Oh well, that wound is starting to heal.
— Robert Weiss (@CynicalWeiss) April 12, 2019
— Justin Epperson (@sprsk) April 12, 2019
Kick Toad in the nuts and he’ll become a buff stud! My favorite Nintendo game
— Tgauker97 (@GaukerTimothy) April 12, 2019
i think we need to be open to the possibility that he only *asks* to be called Toad https://t.co/EW7YK6RWQQ
— bigfoot is meat and bone (@50TurnParty) April 12, 2019
me helping toad work out but he keeps saying weird shit like "yeah step harder HARDER O K A Y" pic.twitter.com/ExT0SUhXhj
— DesertPogona (@DesertPogona) April 12, 2019
I'm not sorry. pic.twitter.com/2rBwbQy8ss
— Tealgamemaster #SaveYourInternet (@tealgamemaster) April 12, 2019
— Rae (@RaeMoonlight) April 12, 2019