Nintendo is Going To A Milking Competition in Vermont

By Kate Gray on at

Praise whoever is doing Nintendo's social, for they are a genius.

After Billings Farm & Museum (a milking farm and museum in Vermont) saw Nintendo's 1-2 Switch mini-game, "Milk", they threw down the gauntlet, challenging Nintendo to a real-life milking competition... and Nintendo said yes.

"Milk" is a game in which two competitors must, uh, "milk" an invisible cow by stroking the Joy-Con controllers down its udder, pressing the buttons alternately to simulate, the, uh, bit where you make the milk come out? Look, I don't know, I've never milked a cow. Perhaps I need to visit Billings Farm & Museum, too.

milk time 2
This is how dairy farmers say "fite me, bro".

Apparently, they meant it, as a Nintendo of America representative confirmed to Polygon: "they’re actually going up there this week."

Who is this mysterious "they"? Will they be sending Reggie Fils-Aime? Will he make some kind of horrendous yet adorable reference to his body being ready? More importantly: will they win?

milk time
Some excellent smack talk.

Hopefully we'll be able to keep you updated on this story as it progresses. Our money is probably on the people who've actually milked cows before, and not Nintendo of America. Sorry, Reggie.