By Gita Jackson
I’ve now seen Kirby with realistic human feet and I feel like maybe the Internet was a mistake.
Illustrator Marie Blue posted this comic to Twitter on March 17th, and the response was intense, to say the least.
— Marie Blue (@MarieBlue05) March 17, 2017
While it only took to a fever pitch yesterday, this image is now lodged in our collective unconscious. In this comic, Kirby, the round, marshmallow-y video game character, has taken off his shoes to reveal realistic human feet. I will be frank: this terrifies me. This gets me almost as bad as the MLB: The Show 17 glitch where that one dude looks like he was made of logs.
The very idea of Kirby with human feet has now lodged itself in my brain. I can’t let go o f the idea that those red things aren’t his shoes, and must be his feet instead. As I sat at my desk, Googling “Kirby feet,” I came across this conversation from an IGN message board in 2006.
This isn’t the first time people have wondered about Kirby’s anatomy, and it wasn’t the last. This has been a notion that’s flared up on the Internet from time to time, taking the form of Yahoo Answers posts and weird DevaintArt submissions. If I’m going to be haunted by an image of Kirby with human feet, at least I’m not alone.
In the face of Marie’s comic, some people responded to this fanart with fanart of their own.
— 奶cha (@Jwentay) March 22, 2017
— kendy™ (@revolocities) March 23, 2017
Kirby... is now at a power you can not comprehend... pic.twitter.com/8HUwILZeZt
— 黒人 | NOVA (@Nova1Duke) March 23, 2017
Artist Lindingle had apparently jumped on the “Kirby with human feet and legs” train, and has art of this abomination available for sale on her RedBubble.
Others, however, reacted in sheer terror.
KIRBY WITH FEET IT THE WORST THING IVE SEEN IN THE HISTORY OF ME HAVING EYES
— ｉｉｉｉ (@barfchan) March 23, 2017
Kirby with feet is very disturbing
— ✧˖°ᗩKᗩᑎE TᔕᑌᑎEᗰOᖇI (@KeyiaChillinTho) March 23, 2017
Unsettling: Kirby with real feet.
— Gandalf The Black (@Tunucook) March 23, 2017
every time i see real feet kirby i lose 5 years off my life why they so detailed ??
— - ̗̀Sakura ̖́- (@sakurabutt) March 23, 2017
"ILLEGAL Kirby Feet Pic Fucked Up My Brain" and Other Horror Stories
— Porygon (@PorygonNews) March 23, 2017
As for me, I’m unplugging my router. Goodbye, Internet. You were a fun experiment, but I now I definitely need a detox.