The new year means it’s time for resolutions. This year I’d like to practice my guitar more, be as fit as I was in my 20s, figure out my romantic life — but I probably won’t do any of those things. But I might, with your help, finish The Witcher 3.
My colleague Patricia and I were talking today about how we’ve both recently (finally) started playing The Witcher 3. I’m only about 10 hours in, and I didn’t get my fellow Kotaku staffers’ flood of screenshots and jokes. I want to finish the game, but it’s just so long, and there are so many sidequests. I have so many games to play, and those stars in Overwatch aren’t going to get themselves...
But I want to see The Witcher 3 through. I want to share in the memories and laughter of my colleagues. I want the monsters, the cats, the frying pans, the kisses. I want the haircuts. Oh how I want the haircuts.
Many a person has climbed the seemingly insurmountable mountain of The Witcher 3 and lived to tell the tale. What’s the secret? A rigorous playing schedule? A phone app for planning your quests? Promising to buy yourself a puppy if you finish? Throwing away every other game you own?
Tell me how you finished The Witcher 3, readers. I want to know what you know. And not just so Luke Plunkett might finally think I’m cool.