A Look Back At Final Fantasy VI's Banquet, Which Was Worse Than Any Christmas Dinner

By Heather Alexandra on at

Christmas is tomorrow. It is a day of gifts and feasting. A glorious day where we shout at each other about politics before drunkenly apologising later in the evening. No matter how hard it gets, know that it could get way worse. This banquet in Final Fantasy VI sure did.

The world of Final Fantasy VI is crummy. There's an evil empire taking over the world and creating dangerous magitek weapons. A small resistance group fights back but isn't gaining much ground.

The Empire employs a dangerous general named Kefka. He's killed entire kingdoms and is kidnapping a ton of magical critters called espers to put them into magical crystals that power the Empire's war machines. He's almost as big an arsehole as your uncle.

After a mishap that has dozens of espers break free and attack the imperial capital, the Emperor calls a ceasefire, arrests Kefka and invites your party to a banquet. It's a pretty swanky affair. The Emperor is surprisingly contrite. If you answer the right questions, he'll withdraw troops from certain territories and even give you some gear.

Things seem pretty cool. But your grandpa also seemed pretty cool until he started talking about conspiracy theories. Thanks for that, Alex Jones.

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The heroes join up with the Emperor to reestablish communications with the remaining espers but in a shocking twist it turns out that he's lied about being a good dude! It's like when your brother-in-law says that he's cool even though he's totally not.

Like an unruly cousin who doesn't understand that a friendly game of football means you don't tackle me, Kefka attacks the party, kills the noble General Leo and burns down the rustic village of Thamasa.

So sit down, grit your teeth and try to enjoy some food. When you think that Christmas dinner is going sour, be happy that Kefka isn't sitting at the table.