By Zack Zwiezen
For years now, GTA V fans have tried their best to stop a digital train by any means necessary. Some schemes are logical. Others... not so much.
Here are some of the most ridiculous ways GTA V fans have tried to stop the train. Spoilers, most of them didn’t work. But, as all good trainwrecks prove, the attempts are certainly fun to watch.
A Large Crowd of People
Of all the possible ways to stop the train, this might be the most ill-conceived. People, even a lot of them, are still relatively squishy and lightweight compared to a giant speeding train, as you can see below:
A Bunch of Humpback Whales
You've got to think, having a bunch of humpback whales lying in hot a desert must smell awful. Can you even imagine what it would look like if these whales exploded on impact? Thankfully, the whales in GTA V aren’t coded to do that. It’s almost like Rockstar never intended for whales to get hit by a train. Weird.
A Massive Tsunami
If whales won’t work, surely the ocean would? GTA V fans have tried using mother nature against the unstoppable train using a popular mod which floods Los Santos with large amounts of water:
The results are a bit buggy, yet still neat. But even a mega tsunami isn’t enough to derail the train.
Bonus: Other players have tried different forces of nature, such as tornados, but these have also failed to stop the train.
Some Giant Skyscrapers
Okay, so nature failed GTA V players in the quest to stop the train. In response, they turned to man-made structures instead:
Nope. Despite building tall skyscrapers directly on the train tracks, the plan was foiled. I like to imagine that the train conductor is confused about all the mysterious buildings suddenly in front of the tracks. Then again, after the whales, can anything phase the conductor anymore?
Thanks to mods, famous comic book heroes like Superman and The Flash can visit Los Santos. Surely they can stop the mythical train!
Well. The Flash can outrun the train, but that’s about it. Spider-Man might have stopped an out-of-control subway car in a film, but even so, the train in GTA V is just too much for Peter Parker.
Of course someone tried using a UFO to stop the train: GTA V players love the supernatural and paranormal. The UFO found above Mt. Chilliad has a weird barrier around it, so it doesn’t seem like a stretch to think it could halt the train, right?
Instead of stopping the train, the UFO just freaks out and acts more like a cheap balloon. No dice.
If there is one thing the internet loves to do it’s beat a dead horse... or in this case a dead gorilla. In the video below, Harambe stages an epic and dramatic battle with the train. It’s practically fan-fiction.
Some have tried more “scientific” experiments, like spawning 100 Harambes onto a bridge. Unfortunately our precious boy is not enough for the unstoppable locomotive of death.
The Samsung Galaxy Note 7
YouTubers have had fun with the Samsung Galaxy Note 7 in GTA V — even if Samsung wants them to stop talking about the mod that brings the explosive phone into the virtual city of Los Santos.
What happens if TWO unstoppable forces collide into one and other?
Err. Maybe that’s for the best.
ACTUALLY Stopping The Train
Despite all this failure, it is actually possible to stop the GTA V train. I didn’t discover the method, but you can see me pull it off in the video below:
Basically, you need to go to a specific parachuting side activity. Once you land on the train that spawns for that mission, you go to the front and use explosives to destroy the train. Voila. This only works in single-player, though. And only with this specific train.
It’s been years since GTA V has come out, and through it all, the train has never stopped being an obsession for the GTA V community. One of the first things I did when I got the game in 2013 was park a bus in front of a train tunnel; I wanted to know what would happen. Really, that’s what keeps everyone coming back for more train shenanigans: what might happen if I do this? No matter how many solutions players find, they’ll just keep testing the limits of the train however they can.