Wargaming Pays Steven Seagal to Clothesline Weedy Man

By Rich Stanton on at

Wargaming's business is war games, and business is good. So good that the company can afford to throw massive cheques in the direction of ripened action stars like Steven Seagal. We're all winners, really, because of pictures like this.


Look at his giant man hand next to that weeny, pathetic mouse. He could split that table in two if he wanted. Sadly the good news stops here, because Seagal has been hired to act as World of Warships' 'Heroic Battle Advisor' and in various promotional shots he's posing in an admiral's outfit. "This time he's not simply a cook," bleats the official site, "he's a commander."

Let's get one thing straight. Wargaming might have money, but that doesn't mean it gets to rewrite reality. Steven Seagal does not command warships, not now and not ever. He is just a cook.

You don't lose that kind of swagger, and Wargaming's Seagal promo is worth watching for the moment where he flattens some dude using those ancient cook skills.


Should you wish, you can unlock Seagal in World of Warships to act as the commander on American ships. Which is all well and good, but let's just remember it's non-canonical.