Teddy Together is a Nintendogs-like game for the 3DS that sees you care for a sentient teddy bear that's left on your doorstep. It all looks quite sweet and cuddly but, after reading Martin Robinson's post on Eurogamer, I can't help but see it in dark and sinister terms. Who is this bear? Where has It come from? What foul spirit has animated Its lifeless body?
In my mind it's now Paddington Bear by way of The Grudge. Just listen to Its creepy child's voice:
Look on the face of evil:
Turn your back on It for a second and It'll come for your eyes:
"I will drown this world," It says with Its eyes:
I can't read Japanese but I bet here It is saying "I am maid from evil". Both terrifying and showing It has such control of our language that It can use puns to make threats:
This is probably poisoned:
"Bring me this girl. She will be my next sacrifice," It laughs with the creepy laugh of a trapped child:
I don't know how It's learned my birthday but what is the secret meaning behind Its costume?
Does It plan to wear my head like the skins of a frog? Will It use snails against me? Should I be wearing a raincoat? Get out of my head you evil bear!
Teddy Together will be out on July 1st.