Smash Ultimate's Brinstar Is Forever Ruined

By Alex Walker on at

I will never be able to look at Brinstar the same way again.

Reader Karl recently emailed in with a disturbing bit of info about Smash Ultimate. It's changed the way I look at a Smash Ultimate stage.

The stage in question is Brinstar, which has been the default Metroid stage since Smash Bros Melee. Brinstar's been remastered for Smash Ultimate, and you can what the modern version looks like above.

But first, let's set the scene so to speak. From one minute onward, you can see what Brinstar looked like in Smash Melee:

And you can see the similarities in the design and colour of the 3DS version. There's some crap hanging down from the platforms, yellow ooze, and creepy stuff in the background.

Now, Smash Ultimate's take again.

Can you see it?

Have another look, just in case.

It's at the top of the level, in the background:

That ... that kind of looks like a ballsack. A giant, wrinkly pair of nads just hanging down over the top of the stage.

I can't unsee it.

Obviously, the artists were going for a brain. That seems to be the background doodad in previous versions of Brinstar, although there wasn't such a pronounced line down the middle.

The problem here is the lack of detail in both halves of the brain; actual brains have more pronounced cavities. The lack of detail and depth in the Smash Ultimate recreation makes it look like texturing on the surface of skin, giving the visual impression of ... well, a giant Metroid scrotum.

So thanks Karl. Thanks for ruining Brinstar for us all.