There are some news stories I sit down to write, and for a while words just fail me. This is one of those stories.
Ubisoft, as part of its promotion for South Park: The Fractured But Whole, is holding a farting contest. Record yourself doing a fart, send in the video of you farting, and someone at Ubisoft will be ultimately responsible for deciding if your fart becomes "The Official Fart of South Park: The Fractured But Whole". Imagine that, your act of flatulence deemed worthy of being forever associated with an AAA commercial video game.
This is a real thing Ubisoft has poured actual money into making a trailer for.
— Ubisoft UK (@UbisoftUK) October 2, 2017
As someone who got farted on by this game at a convention last year, I am staying well away from this contest. This isn't about cute little toots, the fart compound they sprayed at gamers' faces was one of the foulest things my nostrils have ever had the displeasure of experiencing.
If you think you've got what it takes to win this contest, please do your farts as far from me as possible. You can find submission info here.