Dear Splatoon Players On The Other Team: Please Don’t Use Motion Controls

By Kirk Hamilton on at

Hello, fellow Splatoon fans. I’m writing to you today, just a bit ahead of Splatfest, to remind you that you definitely do not need to use motion controls when you play. Especially if you’re on the other team from me.

You may hear people say things like, “Motion controls are the only way to play if you’re serious about Splatoon!” They may urge you to try motion controls out, even if you’ve gotten comfortable with standard controls. “There’s basically no aim-assist in Splatoon,” they’ll say, goading you into action. “Motion controls will make you so accurate that you’ll never be able to go back!”

Do not listen to them. These people are trying to trick you. Are you team Mayo? They’re team Ketchup, always out for blood. Are you Team Ketchup? These pro-motion-control maniacs are clearly team Mayo. Gross.

Oh, they’ll make a convincing case. They’ll tell you how they started out playing a few story missions while slowly getting used to the motion controls. Then they’ll say they switched to Salmon Run, then finally into Turf War, and that after an hour or two it was like they were playing a different game. They’ll tell you that the Pro Controller is a good way to go, but that the split Joy Con are flat-out incredible. They’ll say that once they got used to it, it was like aiming with a laser pointer or a mouse & keyboard.

They’ll tell you to watch videos like this one:

Be sure to use the thumbstick and the motion controls, they’ll say. You should do most of your rotating with the stick, and only use the motion controls for fine adjustments. If you didn’t know better, you could swear they were trying to give you real advice.

Don’t be fooled! Stick with your familiar, standard thumbstick controls. Especially if you’re not on my team.