Massive Witcher 3 Update Forces Geralt to Put Some Clothes on After Sex, Improves Everything Else

By Matt Wales on at

Today sees the release of the massive (and very, very pretty) expansion for The Witcher 3, Blood and Wine. To pave the way for this, the final chapter in Geralt's epic quest for sexy times and, something, something, magic, developer CD Projekt RED has released a brand-new mega-sized update for the game.

It's a veritable piƱata of a patch, stuffed full of welcome tweaks and changes designed to make you go 'oooooh' if you hit it hard enough. Regrettably, The Witcher 3's 1.20 update also points a stern finger at the crowned prince of unicorn-bonking and demands that he puts some clothes on at the end of the game's many and alarmingly varied sex scenes, which apparently he wasn't doing before. Sadly, that means there'll be no more unintended man-bottom on your screen.

"Fixes issue whereby Geralt's clothing was not properly restored after sex scenes." :'(

the witcher 3 blood and wine trailer cd projeckt red

In more welcome news, the 1.20 update adds the option to enable enemy upscaling, which boosts the power of enemies in lower-level quests to ensure a consistent challenge. It doesn't end there, though: there's an overhauled inventory system, a book to keep track of your missing Gwent cards, the option to disable automatic sword sheathing, plus an exhaustive list of interface and usability improvements. Seriously, the patch notes are huge to the point of intimidating (insert 'Geralt's penis' joke here; insert 'insert Geralt's penis joke' here).

Jules is currently getting to grips with Geralt's final, meaty offering, and will be sharing his Blood and Wine anecdotes just as soon as he's good and able.